Make your mess your message w/ Nicholas Bayerle

by | Sep 2, 2021 | Blog | 0 comments

In this interview you will learn:

  • How to take your mess of insecurities and turn them into a message that will attract your best clientele.
  • How his battle with obesity, and totally hopeless in his business led to generating multi 7 figures selling health and business transformations.
  • And! Make sure you listen through the end, he turns the tables on Amanda revealing the reason why she shaved her head. (A story she very rarely ever talks about, and yet he uses this framework to make it relatable and relevant).

About Nicholas Bayerle – Creator of Billion Dollar Body Live, the #1 event for successful businessmen. Facilitator of The Billion Dollar Brotherhood. Featured in Forbes, Addicted 2 Success, Business Rockstars, Order of Man, For the Love of Money, Influencive, Huffington Post, and the Art of Charm.

Claim your FREE Chapter 4 of The Ultimate Sales Machine -voted in the Top 10 Most Recommended Marketing and Sales Book of All Time. This chapter covers How to Get 9x More Impact From Every Move You’re Already Making to Win Sales.

Nicholas Bayerle

 “I was so embarrassed with who I was. I mean when I was overweight I was wearing a sweatshirt every day. I tape down my nipples every day. Like scotch tape, now they call them pasties I think it’s that what it’s called. I got made fun of for having man boobs and I’m like, what can I do to hide,  what can I do to cover?  That is the difference between a mess to a message that empowers everyone else through your story. To go out there and do something that they never thought was possible. For like literally, that message in itself, you go speak that all over the world and just talk about doing that one thing and what’s the one thing that they all have that they know that they need to do that’s been sitting on their heart for four years but they’ve never done it.”

Amanda Holmes

 “Welcome, everybody. Amanda Holmes here, CEO, Chet Holmes International, and I am in Austin in the lovely home of Nicholas Bayerle CEO of Billion Dollar Brotherhood. Is it CEO because you’re also partners with your wife?”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

“Yes, she’s COO technically.”

Amanda Holmes
“Oh, okay. A husband-wife, duo. I love Nicholas’s story. I actually met him on Clubhouse.”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

“I know, random.”

 Amanda Holmes

“I know, but everything he said, you could just hear that the words coming out of his mouth. It was as if he had picked up my father’s book. I thought, oh my gosh, he must have read Ultimate Sales Machine. He’s brilliant and he’s speaking from actual knowledge. You could tell that he’s figured it out from working in some business. So I followed up and said, what do you do? Who are you? Let’s be friends. Like, I just kept telling him we needed to be friends on Instagram DM. And, I love your story having worked in a family business as well. So you started off in your father’s carpet cleaning company.”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

“Yeah.”

 Amanda Holmes

“Right? And didn’t know if you wanted to leave or not, or if that would be your future, but you made that leap and in his first month he made $26,000 and then has gone on to sell multi-million dollars worth of…”

 Nicholas Bayerle
“Coaching online business at all across the board. From in-person events to masterminds, to coaching digital products and also service-based business as well for different companies that have done really well.”

Amanda Holmes

“It’s wonderful. Featured on Forbes and Entrepreneur and the number one podcast. Congratulations. 

 Nicholas Bayerle 

“Thank you.”

 Amanda Holmes

“I know I’ve been on there. It was lovely. He’s wonderful at asking questions, really dives much deeper. So I want to dive into this mess to message. Can you tell me where this started?”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

 “I’ve been married for three years at this point, never made more than $3,000 in a month. I’m carpet cleaning, it is my main source of income. I lost 60 pounds. I had hired a trainer. I invested money. I’d figure out ways where I could lose the weight while eating meat and potatoes and the things that I enjoyed at the time. And I didn’t work out that much. I’m like, I starved myself to lose weight and I told myself, well, now you can’t promote your transformation because you didn’t do it with your program. You lost weight the hard way.”

 “How can you promote that? I was so embarrassed with who I was. I mean, when I was overweight, I was wearing a sweatshirt every day. 110 degrees, I’d wear a sweatshirt. I taped down my nipples every day, like scotch tape. Now they call them pastries, I think is that what’s called. Pasties. But I use scotch tape every single day where I had blisters all over my chest because I got made fun of for having man boobs. So I’m like, what can I do to hide? What can I do to cover? So I’m going through this struggle and I’m so embarrassed that even with my wife now, almost nine years when we were engaged, it was the first time she saw my fat photo.”

“I wouldn’t show it to her, but she finally pulled out my license. I remember going to my mother’s house for the first time. I ran inside first and I ripped up every photo and threw them all in the trash. Because I just didn’t want her to see who I was. And I didn’t think that the story was important. So I remember getting this phase where I’m like, I’m thinking about Eminem. I’m thinking about 8 Mile. I’m thinking about at the very end of the movie, this guy is so nervous that he chokes on stage. He’s thrown up before he goes up there. To going up there and sharing everything that’s wrong in his life and being like, I don’t care what you guys think about me anymore. I’m just going to share everything out there. And it did the exact opposite of what he thought it would do. He thought, if people knew me better, knew who I was, they would probably reject me or my story won’t matter. He went up there. He shared his story through a rap, made everyone out there, connect with him over all the other people that they didn’t connect with anymore. One of the ways he did that was everybody in the 313. He said an area code that he still lived in and all the successful rappers, they no longer lived in the area code. They’re no longer related.”

“‘Cause, there are normally two reasons why people follow our buy from us. One, they want to be like us, which is what everyone’s flexing. That should be like my studio. Yeah. Or six hundred million dollar-client. We need these things because we were like, oh, like, I loved that. I loved it. Me and my son. Right? We were like hanging out this morning and like doing all this stuff. I want people to look at that and go, oh, like, that’s awesome. I want to be like that.”

“Yet that’s what if it’s just that, then you’re missing the… it’s someone that you’re just like, which is phase two. I’m just like that person. And one of my mentors Cole Hatter, he talks about how he was a number one salesperson for fortune builders and number two is completely opposite. Number two would wear the super expensive suit, a $250,000 watch and he would say things like, “You know, how much, this watch costs? It’s a $250,000 watch. And like, that’s an anchor, right?”

 “It’s like, oh my gosh, this guy is successful. He’s someone I want to be like. And, of course, he’d then go to, but you know, what’s even more important to me? Change like my family. Whereas Cole, if he didn’t even need to wear a suit jacket like he’d show up in Chuck Taylor’s t-shirt and he’s like, Hey guys, like I’ve done over a thousand deals, which is still he’s done this stuff. And I’ve done this much money in real estate. And I’m just like you, I was literally sitting in the same exact seat, I’m wearing the same exact clothes, and I’m just grateful to have a mentor that taught me exactly what to do. And he was flexing that I’m just like you. I’m, I’m not going to change who I am to be different.

Now, both of them are very, very important.”

“So mess to message how it came about failing in business. I get invited to speak at an event, 40 people. And I finally had my Eminem moment. I’m like, you know what, nothing’s working for me. I invested $5,000 to be here. And then they asked me to speak. I’m going to go up there. I’m not just going to teach on health. I’m going to tell them, that I was fat and I’m going to tell them why I was fat. The emotions, the story, et cetera. So I go up there like it has to be perfect. I start talking about this moment in my life, that the straw that broke the camel’s back when my dad told me I’d never be the best motocross racer in the world.”

“And I literally gave up on school, didn’t talk to my dad for three and a half years, gained 60 pounds, gave up on life. And I start bawling in front of everyone, 40 people that are almost everyone’s more successful than me in this room. They almost didn’t let me pay the five grand because I was so broke. That’s when you know you’re broke, it’s when someone refuses to take your money. Cause they feel bad for you. So we’re in this room and I’m sharing and I started bawling. I’m so frustrated. I’m so mad because I’m like, I’m not giving them value. I’m embarrassed. My wife had never seen me cry. Ever. And I have, my wife has to come up and help me finish the talk. And I feel this emotional hangover, this vulnerability hangover. And I’m like, I just screwed up.”

“I lost my opportunity to share. And meanwhile, there were more fit people in the room. These people didn’t have a fitness business. They’re more fit than me. Cause I lost 60 pounds, but no one could see that, but there were actually fitness people there, that was more fit than me. And I’m like your body’s your billboard. They’re going to go with them over me. All of a sudden I leave there and like 10 people were like at the 40, I don’t even know, like really how to approach them or anything. I’m just embarrassed at this point. They call out to me that “Man, I love what you said there.”.

“And still to this day, that event that runs still talks about the spot that I stood in.”

 “When I cried that brought the entire event altogether from that moment forward, that’s when everything changed. Anytime someone cries, they talk and anchor that moment. And I left there and 9 out of the 10 people, literally, without trying, they were like, “Yeah, whatever your package is, 3,300 bucks.”. “ And this is like, I was short-selling. I was like, I feel bad. Like, I’m an idiot. I just said like, it’s $3,300, like, oh, sweet. Let’s do it. And I leave there. And that’s when we did about $26,000 in sales. And I’m still carpet cleaning at this point. So I call my dad, it’s my anniversary. And I have a week off and I go “Dad, like, I have to go all in.”

“And I was so afraid that it was a fluke. That it was like, I got all these sales, but maybe it was just something I can’t replicate. And I have to go back to my father. And ever since then, we haven’t had a not profitable month since that month. And that’s when I realized a few things, that my story was important. I told that story about my father and what ended up happening is every person in the room could relate to some part, the story. The failure, the opposition, yet for all the fit people that were there, everyone looked at them and said, oh, like, they’re just, they’re just at the result.”

“They’re just fit. For me, they’re like, he has the same emotional struggles with food with working out, not knowing how to work out. All these fears and insecurities, the same ones that I do and he overcame them or got the result even with them. So I want to work with him over all the fit people. So I started, I mean, I’m selling clients for 7,500 bucks for health transformations. Meanwhile, Mr. Olympia selling a $20, $200 program and he looks amazing. And I just looked like a kid who was skinny and didn’t work out. And ultimately.”

“And I started realizing that my story mattered. The second one was that my story was good enough. The second thing that people run into is, they go “Nicholas, you lived in a 400 square foot apartment with no AC. And like we’re living on credit cards and failing your wife and all these things. They’re like, I didn’t really have that issue. Like I didn’t, people, my wife would even get mad at me “cause I was so broke, like I was stuck in a different country at one point. Like I couldn’t get home and I had no cell phone.”

“She’s like, “I wish I had that.”, because she had amazing parents that have been married for almost 30 years. And she had like a college fund and all these different things. And so I had all these amazing stories of all these crazy things that would happen. She’s like, I don’t have that because I just dip into my college fund and like pay my way out of it and like all these different things. And what I noticed is that your message is also uniquely yours. That my message doesn’t relate with certain people, but my wife’s message relates to people that I can’t relate with. And she dealt with having to be perfect all the time because she didn’t want to be a problem to the family.” 

 “I’m like, that is your mess. And she was able to relate to all these people that like, she didn’t think that she could ever relate to or she thought that my story because it was big because it was so dramatic that it was important. But think about this with money or weight loss, there’s always going to be 70 who lost more weight than you. There’s always going to be someone who’s more fit than you. There’s always going to be somebody who’s made more money than you, coach more people than you. So if we just look at them and go, well, I’m not as good as them until I get there. I can’t teach, but I have to teach people to get there. Like it just would never make any sense.”

“And I started realizing that my story is like a fingerprint. Like I’m gonna be able to reach people. People will want to work with me because it’s me. And because of the flavor. And so I started looking at problems differently. Like people look at my weight loss, I used to hide it, all these different problems I had. Taping my nipples down. I say that because people would never say that people are like, oh, that’s one thing I would never share. I’m like, no, like there’s gotta be someone else out there that’s done that before or thought about doing it or done something similar. So started looking at my problems, kind of like if I was in Africa and there was no water, I need to find a spring or dig a well.”
“Three types of people. One person, when is someone going to find a spring or dig a well, like is someone gonna bring me water, please, like, I don’t have any water. Will someone please bring it? Which is like, no one that listens to this podcast. Second, is the person that finds a solution. They dig a well and they go, I never have to deal with that problem. And this is me like, ah, thank God. Like I have water. I’m never going to tell anyone though that I didn’t have water. Like, I’m just going to live in my prosperity and I’m just going to be like, yeah, water is so great. Isn’t it amazing? Come over to my house. Then there’s a third person that goes, if I can figure this out, I can go and bring this solution to other people.”

“And they dig a well, they find out how to create water, get that solution and they go, “Okay. I had an issue, I overcame it and now I can bring it to other people.”. And the biggest thing that I experienced though from that was my 8-mile moment was that all of the things that every single thing that we’re afraid of to share, and even if this is in a small group with friends is ammunition that we believe the world will use against us. So maybe you have something that you’re hiding, something that you’re not sharing with someone.”

“Well, we will sabotage our growth, our business growth, our, our influence because we’re afraid that at some point people will find out about us who we truly are or something about us that we haven’t shared, and everyone’s going to reject us. And the reason why it’s the last piece of this is what you do to get something is what you have to do to keep it. So if I were to get my wife to marry me based on, maybe I go, you know what, I should probably be the guy that doesn’t care about money. You know, when I go to dinner tonight, I’m just going to buy everything.”

“Because maybe that’s what she wants. So I go to dinner, I buy everything. I’ll go for every appetizer, everything. And afterward, I’m not that guy at all. Right. Like, let’s just say, I’m not that guy, but I go and do it anyway. She falls in love with that. Oh my gosh. I love that. He does that. Then we get married and like, I have to sustain that person, that personality for her to stay in love with me because that’s who she fell in love with. The thing about business back in the day is that you had to do that if you were a New York or Pennsylvania, based on the geographical location that you were in, the income that they had, the things that they enjoyed, you had to create a company based on that demographic”.

“So they made $10,000 a year. You’re like, oh, I can’t sell premium leather goods because they can’t afford it. I have to do something cheaper. And if you’re in New York, you could create the most luxurious things in the world because the market was okay with it. Nowadays, you don’t have to be someone that you’re not, even though people will follow you and love you for it. Just as you could fake on a date with a girl or a date with a guy who you are, and they can fall in love with it, but you have to sustain it forever. And it’s super stressful. The same amount of people or more would actually love you for you. And actually love your business for the message that it has because now you can reach almost everyone in the world, not based on location.”

“And when you speak that message out there, not only are people going to get connected to it, but it’s easy to sustain it. Like my wife and I’s relationship is easy to sustain because all I have to do to keep her is keep being myself. Whereas if I attracted her or my audience through being something that I was not. Every time I show up to keep them, I have to continue being someone that I’m not, or else they’re going to leave me. Whatever you do to get something is what you have to do to keep it. That’s just the foundation of it. We’d go into a little bit of stuff of how people can actually utilize it practically or apply it into maybe some of their messages or how they’re communicating to people because this was the foundation of building the business and it wasn’t all about tears.”

“And it wasn’t all about just telling an emotional story. Every single thing that I teach someone that doesn’t already believe what I’m saying should be done in a story, practical experience, something that someone went through so that they can come to the conclusion on their own, without me telling them what to do.”

“That’s the goal of everything that I do. And before I tell people, you need to get fit, the best way to lose weight is this, and if people already agreed with me, they were priority fit, but like, “Yeah I agree.”. And all the fitness people are like, “Yeah, but you would never hire me. And everyone else is like, oh yeah, I’ve tried that. I’ve tried this stuff before. it doesn’t work or, I’m not sure, maybe not. But if I told my story about how I tried all these things and the emotional problems and how I’d go and eat the thing out of the fridge, and then I finally found this plan that sustained me they go, “What plan?”. Like, “What is this plan?”. Like, “I struggle with that too.”. Like, “What is the thing?”. ‘Cause I’m not telling them to do it, they’re going, “I want it.” through the story.”

 Amanda Holmes

“Wow. What a brilliant culmination of just living a smarter life. We talk about working smarter, not harder, and this is a brilliant way to work smarter, is just to be honest and authentic with yourself and that truth will set you free.”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

 “I mean, you shaved your head in front of everyone. 

 Amanda Holmes

 “Yeah.”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

 “Like, you know, you didn’t, you didn’t need to do that?”

 Amanda Holmes

 “Yeah. No, I did it for me.”

Nicholas Bayerle 

 “And it probably like would have been easier not to, and possibly at the time, better, before there was an awesome story, right? Like now it’s like a story, but at the time, I mean, Brittany Spears shaved her head and it wasn’t for a good reason, you know? So it’s like, but again, it’s like some of these things it’s, it’s who you are. And, and yeah, I think that things like that, if let’s say someone left you guys or left your company or, or a follower left to you or something because of that, it’s like they only would have stayed because of that reason. Like, it’s almost a good reason to speak smoke out the haters.”

 Amanda Holmes

Yeah.”

 Nicholas Bayerle 

Right? Sometimes you gotta do things to smoke out people that you dislike. It’s like,, you have to be confident to be able to let go of the things that aren’t serving in my head. I understand. Right. I’m like, that’s, it was difficult.

It took me years to get up [00:18:00] the confidence to do it. How long did you think. Uh, probably about four years. And like, it just sat on your heart. Yeah. So like all of my head shots I would take with my hair back because I was like, I got to prepare them for when I won’t have hair someday. Right. But yeah, I would think about this and you’ve told the story a lot.

No, I don’t. Why not? I can, I hear, can I hear about it? Okay. So you’re pulling back here. And you’re like, I gotta prepare people for when I’m going to shave my head. Yes. Why, why shave your head? So I had learned about it from my go-to. So I have a teacher that guides me to be the best version of myself. So be the most authentic, you know, uplifted person I could possibly be.

And when I inherited the business, there were, I had hundreds of staff around me, all looking at me going, what are you going to do? And I’m like, oh, I don’t know. What am I going to do? I have no clue. Uh, and then to derail from what [00:19:00] my father had created to create my own thing was very terrifying, but I had to innovate my business was running on, you know, really old school technologies.

And I didn’t want the company that my father had built. I wanted, if it was going to survive me, it had. Be my own thing. So part of my shaving of my head was just to let go of everyone. Else’s expectations of me and to be clean and clear and committed to myself. And every time I would look myself in the mirror, I would know I’m doing this for me and holy cow, how amazing do I feel?

How empowered do I feel? I shaved my head for five years. Yeah. Amazing the liberation of just, and for me, it’s also this connection of something higher than myself. Just kind of, my prayer was always let me be a conduit of light and love, you know, please guide me. I want it to be guided to do, you know, the best thing possible.

So that, that was my commitment to myself. [00:20:00] So for years you wanted to, and then how did you feel when you didn’t. Like you weren’t doing it like before you actually did it the first time. Was that like, were you upset at yourself even? Like, why am I not doing this? Like, does this mean that like I’m carrying around this thing where I want people’s approval or like, whatever that thing.

I still am. I’m so back there. So when you said back, when that happened, so I’ve grown back my hair, the last, like, this is like four months. I just got a haircut today or yesterday. And I thought, man, I really love having a shaved head, but so many people have a problem with it. Right. So I still am there. I, I Teeter back and forth between, should I have hair?

Should I not? Which is interesting because if you just keep the head shaved, is it, it could be. Now the challenge for you is actually to grow your hair. Yeah, because that’s actually harder to know. Well then my go to was like, well, now you get so many compliments. Cause I thought like, you know, shave [00:21:00] your head.

You’d be like a leper in society. Right. But when I shaved my head, I got more like you are, people would stop me in the middle of an airport. You are so beautiful. I’m like, okay, this is weird. No makeup had one makeup in years. Haven’t I haven’t done a hairdo in years. Uh, so she had said that I was too attached now to.

Image of what it looked like to have a shaved head and that funny how that can happen. Oh my gosh. And you shaved your head for how long? Five years? Yeah. Yeah. Quite some time. Yeah. That is so wild. And so, and during that time, you like, why? Like what’s day was just because you’re like, I don’t. Care about my, my commitment to myself and clearing away the belief system.

That it’s about what I look like. It’s not about that at all. I was looking to about what you look like for what, for anyone [00:22:00] else. It was just, um, being as minimal as possible and being as true to myself. Physically possible. So I’ve like, I’ve gone years with just wearing white because there’s a lot of decisions that you make in your life.

You wake up and you have to pick, okay, this is what I’m going to wear. This is how I’m going to look. And then throughout the day, you’re wondering, okay, is this how I’m looking? Is this okay? Uh, and I just said, you know, I’m going to strip it bare as possible. And just wear the same exact thing every day with the same color.

So I don’t have to think about it so that I can utilize the space in my brain to make decisions that are more important than. So what’s been the process of changing that now. Like what why’d you change again? Um, I have spent more time in my business recently and less time on my spiritual pursuits. Uh, Obviously you, you can’t completely take me out of it, [00:23:00] but, um, yeah, there’s a little bit more there now, even right there, people could get to know you more people can understand you more.

Let’s say someone were to see your old fully shaved head photos and they start wondering why, why. What what’s the story behind that? Or like, like, oh, what, what happened? Or whatever their story is that they’re coming up with, or maybe they they’ve known you the whole time. They don’t know what’s going on fully now when they hear the story, they understand you more.

So now they have this like insight to build a deeper relationship with you personally, like trying something new like that. And for you, it’s like everyone has these things that they’re so afraid to try yet. Just from you telling your story of. It’s four years. If you just left that out, if you just said, I really wanted to shave my head for the spiritual practice and just to [00:24:00] show people that I do not care what you think about me and it’s who I am and the skill sets I have and what I bring, that’s going to promote me, not my looks and my makeup and my hair and my whatever clothes and all this stuff people would say, wow, good for her.

She’s so bright. But just because you didn’t leave, like if you just left out for four years, I was afraid to do it and it just sat on my heart and I knew I needed to do it. That is the difference of mess to message that empowers everyone else through your story to go out there and do something that they never thought was possible for.

Like, literally that message in itself, you go speak that all over the world and just talk about doing that one thing. And what’s the one thing that they all have that they know that they need to do. That’s been sitting on their heart for four years, but they’ve never. And maybe some people right there would stand up on stage and lie you to shave your head right there in front of everyone and give everyone breakthrough because breakthrough is contagious.

Some things are better caught than taught. I get around people, not because I want to hear what they say. I want to catch what they have. [00:25:00] I’m trying to pick up things that they have. I want to steal their breakthrough. They have an anointing or a breakthrough or something like that, a mantle in their life that that’s giving them breaks.

Or expertise I get around him. Cause I’m like trying to soak it up, give it to me, give it to me. This is why if you learned from someone, yeah. You talk the same way you have similar mannerisms. You didn’t like study their mannerisms. Right. You just picked it up through being in the environment and the atmosphere.

And so I truly believe that those types of stories, like you just told formatted in a way that. To build something or to point towards something specific, almost like a magnifying glass to not just tell every story to help random people do random things. I went on a walk today and I didn’t feel like it, but I did.

So you should go on a walk today to pointless, but if it’s all pushing towards one thing, building that company, for instance, dream 100, getting people to partner with you. Well then all the sudden. [00:26:00] It’s now you could tell stories that would help people overcome those different things or get to know you better.

That makes them want to buy from you. Like I was scrawny and they wanted to buy for me. They, I had emotional problems with food and working out and that made them connect with me. And each one of those, like your story just told us why asked the questions is just cause I guarantee everyone here now knows you better and is inspired only because you told the truthful story.

So never tell, not truthful stories. Cause. They don’t work if you skip one step. So all my client testimonials, the ones that hate me, hated me. They tell, oh, I started following Nicholas. I just thought he was a young guy who just copied what everyone else said. And I just said, I know there’s a million of these guys.

This guy’s a total ass. Like I have a few of these. And then I went to one of his events or I jumped on one of his webinars and I listened to him and I was like, I’ve been in this guy’s group for two years and I’ve literally never listened. They’re like, I can not leave here without. And I’m like, if you tell me the story of a [00:27:00] testimonial for me, you will never leave out that you used to hate me, that you used to think that I was a piece of crap.

You’ll never leave that out because as soon as they do that, it messes up the mess to message because there’s other people out there right now that look at Nicholas and go, Ugh, she’s just young. Like, like what’s, what’s wrong with this kid? Look at, look at him like whatever, probably prize dad’s company, whatever.

And I want people to understand that they’re not alone. There’s other people that have hated me too. And now they love me. So that authentic stories what’s so, so, so, so important, accurate, authentic is what gives the power to release the same breakthrough that someone else went through to other people, whether it’s your own breakthrough or a client testimonial, there’s literally, you talked about spiritual stuff.

There’s literally like a, uh, almost like a opportunity. As if a meal was cooked and it’s multiplied where everyone can take P apart of sitting at the table [00:28:00] and eating it, like there’s an opportunity for people to walk into that breakthrough. Wow. Thank you. That was really powerful. Thank you. You have anything else you want to say?

And that was really fun. Yeah. I, not only did we talk about his message, but then the transformation of talking about mine as well, just live, and this has been such a beautiful or again, and you even said you didn’t. I was like, do you tell this story? You’re like, oh no, I will say one last thing, please.

Vulnerability authenticity. Oftentimes let’s say for giving cause give, cause you didn’t, you didn’t shave your head for other people. Right? So telling the story for other people is probably weird because it gives you credit for something that wasn’t supposed to give you credit, just heart giving similar, right?

They say, don’t let your left hand, see your right hand. Like no one should know about it, not everything, but generally don’t get for attention. Like don’t give money away for [00:29:00] tension food away for attention. You’re not doing it so people will applaud you. So what happens is that no one talks about their giving because they don’t want to become prideful or boastful or do it for other people’s attention.

True humility is able to stay humble, even if they’re getting recognition for something that they did, which is one of the hardest things in the world to do. Because if you give without caring about anyone knowing and get to a point where you can continue that even if people knew, when you tell the story, it sets an example for everyone else.

The problem is is that no one talks about it. No one talks about it with pregnancy. Let’s talk to that. Fertility. I go, no one told us. They always tell you, be careful to have sex because someone might get. They don’t talk about people that have sex over and over again and struggle to get pregnant. So when someone doesn’t get pregnant right away, they think they’re broken because no one talks about it.

But if people talked about it, then they would have an expectation. They’d have community and they’d realize that they weren’t broken and messed up. [00:30:00] People don’t have an example of people that give or people that have the strength to share things that could possibly give them credit. Cause I know when I started talking about it, I.

Oh, also, you didn’t shave your head for anyone else and people don’t deserve to hear why you actually did that. No one, you don’t need to share with anyone, but if you do share it, you’re going to get a lot more of that recognition. That wasn’t the reason why you did it by is other people’s breakthrough, possibly worth it.

And is the true strength of humility. The ability to stay in that place. Not caring about the praise, even when you’re sharing something that could be transformative for other people. Cause that was helpful for me, but he would have kept it to yourself. Then it wouldn’t have helped me. It’s a fine line. It really is.

I got to talk to your teacher. Your teacher is probably like looking at me, right. No, that is not how it’s going to go. Uh, which [00:31:00] we’ve got to get both of us up here. I want to hear what they have to say. I mean, she’s brilliant. She’s absolutely brilliant, but I, it, it really bothers me when we’re on clubhouse and people come on and go, I have to build my personal brand.

How do I build my personal brand? I’m like, oh my God, can we stop talking about brand? Can we just like, if you’re trying to build your business, Let’s find your business, right? It’s our world has flipped to the ego that is so much about the presentation and less about the point of why you would be so vulnerable to share that experience too, with the intent to assist somebody else to have that transformation.

Right. That should be where the come from is instead of, okay, I got to check off the list that I’m building a brand and this is so I just sent a message and this will be the last thing I say. I promise. I just sent a message to a friend of mine. Uh, that inspired me to be a father, even when I wasn’t a father.

So I, I, and this is what really got me to start sharing my message more is this thought [00:32:00] this guy was a father that always tucked his kids in or FaceTime them for bed. And I always thought, oh, that’s so cool. And he always stuck to his commitments to the best possible for us. So one time he’s on the road speaking, selling from stage and he tells his daughters before they go to bed, that he was going to make, wake up and make pancakes for them in the morning.

But he’s in a different city. Flight gets canceled, jumps in tries to get a rental car. His license has expired or something crazy like that. It starts. Hitchhiking literally gets in someone else’s car. I think even ends up in jail and bales himself out and makes it home in the morning to be able to have pancakes with the kids.

And he kind of corrects me on the story, but ultimately, like, that’s what I remember from the story. I’m like, oh my gosh, like this guy did everything because he told his daughters that he would be home. And it got me thinking about social media and these influencers and sharing mess to message. I thought if he just never told me that or told anyone in the world that [00:33:00] he would still be an amazing father, I just would have been robbed at the potential of being inspired to be a better father.

And I’m like, oh my goodness. Like that’s where people should come from in a personal brainer. An influencer is that if you didn’t share. You still have it, you still had the breakthrough, you still built the business. Like this guy was still a phenomenal father and if he just never shared it, he would have been fine.

He would have still been a great dad, but because he shared that story, even though it possibly even gave him praise. Right. It made him all. You’re such a great father, right? There’s a lot of things that come with that, him sharing that is what’s caused me to be a better father. Now, years later, Because I’m like, I’m always going to say goodnight.

I’m always going to be, I’m always going to fall through. I’m always going to make time. And it was all because he shared it. So I thought that that was something very, very valuable for me. So if someone’s an influencer, it’s like, if you’re scared to share your story, because you don’t want the praise, which is one reason, [00:34:00] or you don’t want the flack or you don’t want the pushback or the hate.

Well, at the end of the day, you’re not sharing your story. Isn’t actually robbing. You really have anything because you still get the breakthrough. You still lost the weight. You still built the company. You still did all these things. You’re just robbing everyone else up there, right through that’s all. So if you’re okay with that, then known chair.

But for me, it’s like, oh my gosh, I’m only here because other people shared the story, even when it was uncomfortable. And that’s what helped build my life. So I’m not going to Rob that up. Thank you, Nicholas. Thank you everybody. And I’m sure you’ll comment and give us some wonderful things about how wonderful Nicholas has been here with mess to message.

How do we find you? Where do people find you? Nicholas, barely on Instagram, send me a DM, say something that you took away or whatever it was. And I would love to hear your takeaways. And then for the men out there, I’ve a Facebook group called the billion dollar brotherhood. It’s only for [00:35:00] men because it’s just like.

The, what men talk about when there’s no women present in the room is very different. I wanted to create a space for that, and there’s plenty of amazing places for women to be able to do that. But I really hadn’t found any places that I felt comfortable as a man to do that. And so that’s called the billion dollar brotherhood and they can request app and just let me know.

And, uh, they do let me know. I want to send you my book modern day businessman for free physical copy. I’ll pay for shipping everything. Uh, I just like, I’ve seen the transformation from people. And so I’m trying everything in my power to build the business where I can send out. I’ve now had like tens of thousands of people grabbed the book.

So I’m like, what can I do to be able to just get it into more hands? And so I make money for my business. I don’t have to make money from a book. So I use my own money to get in people’s hands. Wow. Well, go get the book then most definitely. Nicholas, can you spell your last name for everybody? Because maybe we can put it early.

B a Y E  R L E like Bayer aspirin with an L E at the end. Perfect. There we go. Thank you everybody. And thank you. Thank you.

 

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